I read Facebook and blog posts about my friends’ supper clubs and game nights, and sometimes I wish we had a routine like that.
I mean, we do that every once in awhile, but we hardly have time to spend on ourselves…much less other couples!
Lately, I've even started to wonder how many true friends I actually have.
I've got plenty of friends on Facebook. And yes, I like to see pictures of their cute kids and read their updates when I'm bored, but the friendship doesn't go any further than that. And yes, I greatly appreciate the fact that this social network has been able to "reconnect" with "lost friends," but the majority are merely acquaintances.
I grew up in one town, went to college in another, and now live in a third...so, my friends are scattered across the map. Which is great when you can afford a vacation, but what about when you need a shoulder to cry on, or you just want to hold your best friend’s adorable baby? It gets a little depressing.
Now, I'm not saying I don't have great friends here, because I do. And I've cut and pasted and re-drafted this post over and over again so that I (hopefully) don't offend a friend of mine that reads it. But, sometimes, we need to ask ourselves, what does it mean to be a friend? And who are our true friends who would be there when no one else would?
I have two friends that I would do anything for, and I know that they would also do the same for me. And oddly enough, both of their names are Lauren. One I met in college, while the other one I've known since preschool. (My second oldest friend. The oldest was also named Lauren...what is it with me and that name?!?... but she moved to California in elementary school, and we hadn't been in touch in years other than Christmas cards since reunited on Facebook...but I digress...) So, since it's almost Valentine's day, and I probably don't tell them often enough, I thought I'd share how important my Laurens are to me.
No matter how hard I try to remember, I can't tell you how Lauren (aka LJ) and I met, or why we started hanging out. We had many mutual friends, Sam in particular, so she probably had something to do with it. But what I do know is that we were insepearable our senior year. I remember having cocktails in the Trezevant courtyard and sending her off to the counseling center with a rice cake and a buzz. (That was the problem with 3pm counseling sessions on beautiful sunny days. Luckily, my appointments were always in the morning,
before we decided it was 5 o'clock somewhere!) I spent more nights sleeping on her futon than in my own bed. Graduation came, and I moved 10 hours away. Since neither of us are "phone people," it was almost inevitable that the friendship would suffer...
On the other hand, I knew exactly where I was when I met Lauren Sinclair: The Children's Center preschool. There were five of us that played together (I think most of us all carpooled too). When it was time for kindergarten, Lauren H moved away, Lauren S and Sara went to private school, and Banner and I went to public school. Every year, Lauren would come to my birthday party (my mom threw the BEST birthday parties!) and we would run into each other somewhere random. One year it was buying our dad's suits at Culwell and Son, one year it was at Foot Locker, it was strange. Once we finally were able to drive, we pre-arranged the annual "run-ins." Now, our scheduled visits don't always happen yearly...sometimes we happen to be in the same place at the same time more often than once a year (especially when all of us were getting married), but this December it had been two years since I had last seen her...
But here's the thing about my Laurens: TIME DOESN'T MATTER. Hours, days, years can pass, and we pick up right where we left off. That's the beauty of our relationships. That's what makes them true friends.
So, thank you, my dear Laurens, for being the truest of friends. I love you both.
